Are you feeling overwhelmed? Your mom needs you, and what used to be a few hours a week is now a few hours a day. You have to work. You have kids at home who don’t exactly need you there, but you want to spend time with them as much as you can. All of this pulls you in different directions. When you feel caregiver stress getting to you, it’s past time to talk to the rest of the family. You need to sit down, talk about your mom’s health, and decide what happens next. Hiring elder care providers could be part of the solution.
Here are the questions you all need to discuss.
What Do You Currently Do to Help Your Mom?
What do you currently help your mom complete? Create a list of everything you do and how long it takes. If you have other family members with free time, they could offer to take over a day or two each week.
When possible, build an online calendar that you can share with family members and close friends. If they have a day off and want to help out, they can view the calendar and take over transportation to the dentist or offer to spend a day cleaning her home.
How Is Your Mom’s Health Going to Change?
What health issues does your mom have? She may have multiple chronic conditions. What care is involved now and in the future? As her needs change, who is available to help out?
If your mom has Alzheimer’s disease, her care needs will change drastically over the years. In the final months, she will be fully dependent on others for everything from bathing to feeding and ambulation to dressing.
Is Her Home Safe?
As your mom’s health and mobility change, what in her home isn’t safe? If she struggles with balance, stepping over the side of a bathtub may be difficult for her. If she doesn’t have grab bars installed on walls inside and outside of the tub, it’s time.
Check her stairs for loose handrails, loose carpeting, and other safety issues. Bright lighting needs to illuminate all areas of a stair and foyer.
What Are Her Wishes? Would She be Open to Elder Care Aides?
What are your mom’s wishes? Does she want to be dependent on you or would she prefer to have a paid caregiver? Would she want to move in with you or have you move in with her? Does she have legal protections in place in case she can’t make her own medical decisions?
If she hasn’t arranged powers of attorney forms or advance directives, talk to her about their importance. Her doctor can help her with advance directives and should have the forms available.
As a family caregiver, you have to take care of yourself, too. If you’re burned out, you can’t provide your mom with the quality care she needs. Elder care aides can help her out on the days you want to take off. Talk to our elder care specialist to learn more.
